I swore it would be the last.
But we’ve only two fish fingers left
and the bread has breathed its last.
Please stay in the trolley,
it really would be better.
I know you want to be helpful
and be mummy’s little ‘getters.’
it really would be better.
I know you want to be helpful
and be mummy’s little ‘getters.’
But mummy’s rather in a rush
to get this shopping done.
This is called a domestic chore,
it’s not supposed to be fun.
to get this shopping done.
This is called a domestic chore,
it’s not supposed to be fun.
Don’t touch that tottering food display
and put back that DVD.
I know you have some money,
but they’re more than 50p.
and put back that DVD.
I know you have some money,
but they’re more than 50p.
That lady does have funny hair
but please don’t point like that.
And, no, we don’t need cat food
as we haven’t got a cat.
but please don’t point like that.
And, no, we don’t need cat food
as we haven’t got a cat.
If you both behave yourself,
I’ll buy you each a treat.
I was thinking just some stickers,
not a lifesize Happy Feet.
I’ll buy you each a treat.
I was thinking just some stickers,
not a lifesize Happy Feet.
Until we’ve paid, it’s stealing
if you start to eat a biscuit.
Oh sod it, yes just open them -
it’s easier to risk it.
if you start to eat a biscuit.
Oh sod it, yes just open them -
it’s easier to risk it.
Yes I can see the woman
with the tiny little baby.
She’s staring at you terrified,
of what’s coming to her maybe.
with the tiny little baby.
She’s staring at you terrified,
of what’s coming to her maybe.
It’s rather hard to keep my calm
as people start to frown.
(Ironic you choose the frozen bit
to have a big meltdown.)
as people start to frown.
(Ironic you choose the frozen bit
to have a big meltdown.)
I want to kiss, mums that give me
‘I’ve been there too’ smiles.
And give us friendly knowing looks
as I belt around the aisles.
‘I’ve been there too’ smiles.
And give us friendly knowing looks
as I belt around the aisles.
Trying to remember
what I must get from the Deli.
Really isn’t helped much
by you crawling on your belly.
what I must get from the Deli.
Really isn’t helped much
by you crawling on your belly.
So NOW you want to get back in
and rest your weary legs?
You’ve squashed the lettuce, crushed the crisps
and sat down on the eggs.
and rest your weary legs?
You’ve squashed the lettuce, crushed the crisps
and sat down on the eggs.
Let’s just go, we’ve got the bulk,
the rest of the list can keep.
No-one’s been ‘round here so fast
since Supermarket sweep.
the rest of the list can keep.
No-one’s been ‘round here so fast
since Supermarket sweep.
Somehow we make it through the tills
and past the security men.
And I crawl towards the exit
crying, “Never, ever, again!”
and past the security men.
And I crawl towards the exit
crying, “Never, ever, again!”
Emma Robinson 2014
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