tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889708380690145692024-02-20T22:39:38.230-08:00Motherhood for slackersThe humorous side of parenthood in poetry and prose by Emma RobinsonAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-63982646722788092762016-02-04T23:12:00.001-08:002016-02-04T23:15:06.573-08:00In the morning<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">In the morning I will love you,<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">But now it's for the best -<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">If, please, you could go just go to bed<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">So I can get some rest. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You've had me up for hours,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And my head's begun to throb. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I want to lay it down<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">upon the floor and quietly sob. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I've changed you and I've fed you,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Checked you're not too hot or cold.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">In fact, I've gone right through the list<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">of all that I've been told. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">But every time I lay you down,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Then quietly start to creep.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You yell for me pick you up. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Why do you hate to sleep? <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">It's not that I don't love you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I think that you're terrific.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">But if I can't get just forty winks, <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Tomorrow will be horrific.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">So baby, please just close those eyes, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And wait for sleep to come. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">In the morning, if you let me rest,<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I will be much more fun. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Emma
Robinson 2016<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-13909647608850753772016-01-24T14:36:00.000-08:002016-01-24T14:36:08.529-08:00Nappy Change 999
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You go in fast and fully armed,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With nappy, bag and wipes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You don't know what you're facing:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They come in many types.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sometimes you get real lucky<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And you find it's just a wee.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">"Move on there, gents and ladies.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is nothing here to see." <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But other times it's not so good. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The situation's serious.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pampers at full capacity,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And a smell that's quite mysterious. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You gently tease the Velcro,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Still hoping you're mistaken. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But when you see what's lurking there, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Your confidence is shaken. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It's shocking in its magnitude <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It'll fill the nappy sack up. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is not a one man job -<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You need to call for back up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You yell for reinforcements: <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">"Code Red: it's one of 'them' -<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You need to get here quickly.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And bring the Sudocrem!"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You work together bravely,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Though you're facing something grim. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One on wiping detail,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The other pinning limbs. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pretty soon, the child is clean. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nappy on with both tabs fixed. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then you start negotiations <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Over whose turn will be next. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Emma Robinson 2016<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-7055631301739548472016-01-16T08:53:00.000-08:002016-01-16T08:53:39.136-08:00Can we make a cake?
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There are few requests which fill me with as much
dread as "Can we make cakes mummy?" I can usually fob them off for a
while by telling them we don't have the ingredients but sometimes the guilt
gets to me. As I remember making cakes with my own mum, I feel duty bound
to provide the same memories, albeit with slightly more under-the-breath
swearing, for my own children. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am not a natural baker. Creaming, whisking,
folding - it's all just stirring to me. Therefore, after googling cake recipes
with 'easy' in the title, I need time to read and understand each step of the
process to be sure I'm not getting it wrong. Not as easy as it sounds when my
children are more from the 'chuck it all in' school of bakery. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Usually, it starts well enough. Seizing the
opportunity to have something truthful to write in his reading log, I encourage
William to read out the ingredients and we weigh and measure them out each into
their own small bowl just like a TV cooking show. Apart from my cortisol levels
steadily rising as Scarlett measures the raisins out one by one, we are doing
well. Until we get to the flour. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whoever's turn it is to measure, puts their spoon
into the flour, then moves it precariously towards the mixing bowl. Slowly,
slowly, so unbearably slowly the spoon travels the 14cm between the flour bag
and the bowl. Nearly there . . . nearly there . . . and it's all over the
table. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Eggs are just as problematic. There seem to be only
two modes of egg cracking. The first ineffectually soft, the second so heavy
handed that it takes three separate attempts before we get a yolk that lands
anywhere near the inside of the bowl. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It's also impossible to keep the children from
licking their fingers, the spoon or anything else coated in cake mixture. I may
as well add 'saliva' to the list of ingredients; there's more of that in there
than there is baking powder. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have learned from experience that when they are
stirring the mixture (folding, beating, whatever) you need to keep an iron grip
on that bowl if you don't want to use the cake mixture as an alternative floor
covering. Even when holding the bowl as if your life depended on it, you can't
avoid the slippage, flickage and drippage which ensues. Cue me barking out
adverbs like a deranged English Language instructor: "Carefully!",
"Slowly!", "Gently!" <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Finally the mixture with added egg shell and child
spit is ready to put into the oven and I am left to clean up the carnage of
sticky bowls, spilt sugar and phlegmy egg traces whilst the miniature chefs
retire to the sitting room, taking turns to appear at the kitchen door every 3
minutes to ask, "Is it ready yet?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">However stressful the experience has been, I am
left with a warm glow of wholesomeness that I have baked a cake with my
children. I have momentarily transformed myself into a traditional
aproned mother-figure, spending quality time with her children. And, even
better than that, every time we produce a cake, my guilt levels are reset and I
can spend at least another month fobbing them off before we have to make
another one. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-19030849774465467592016-01-08T05:17:00.004-08:002016-01-08T05:17:38.053-08:00You want me to stick it where?As my youngest child is now over four, it has been a while since I have perused the range of products available to pregnant women. This may explain my utter shock when I saw an advert for the Babypod Vaginal Speaker. <br /><br />For those of you who are as yet unaware of its existence, this is a system which enables you to play music to your child in the womb by inserting a speaker inside of yourself. That’s right. Because giving up alcohol, subjecting ourselves to regular blood tests and getting haemorrhoids isn’t enough. Now they're suggesting pregnant women stick a boom box up their front bottoms too. <br /><br />I don't think so. <br /><br />Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to do everything I could to give my unborn child the best possible start in life. Before he was even conceived, I wouldn't let my husband so much as raise an eyebrow at me suggestively until I'd taken my folic acid capsule. I didn't eat anything from the banned food lists. No pâté. No blue cheese. No alcohol. I even got an earful from a waitress when I explained that my eggs were too runny and could she please cook them for longer. (She stomped off with my plate muttering how they didn’t have “all these funny ideas” in her day.)<br /><br />Frequently I could be found singing to my bump, reading it stories and stroking it lovingly. I was almost late to work a couple of times because the baby was moving around and I didn’t want to stop its fun by getting out of bed. I was fortunate to have two pleasant pregnancies and I look back on those months with fond memories. <br /><br />However, there are times during pregnancy when your body no longer feels like your own. Your skin is stretched so tightly it feels like shrink-wrap, your boobs are big and sore and the weight of your bump forces you to walk at a 45-degree angle. On top of that, you are getting undressed in front of more strangers that the staff at a brothel and, just like them, you begin to no longer care who is looking at your private parts.<br /><br />But there has to come a time when we have to put up our hands and say, enough is enough. And surely that begins with the Babypod Vaginal Speaker.<br /><br />For a start, I’d bet you a tube of Lasinoh nipple cream it was invented by a man. Quite a few pregnant women play music to their babies in the womb, but I doubt very much that any of them have ever thought, “I know where I’d like to put this speaker if I could.”<br /><br />What will they ask of us next? Easy-to-swallow Lamaze toys to avoid baby getting bored in the amniotic sac? A rocking appliance to stick up our bottoms so that baby can be rocked gently whilst we watch TV? Milkshake powder dispensers to stick on our nipples so that baby can choose to take their breastmilk in chocolate or strawberry? <br /><br />We need to stand together on this one and reclaim at least some control of our bodies and what we are expected to do with them. If these techno geeks want to put their brains to good use in order to help pregnant women, there are many other things I could suggest. Like a vitamin drink that tastes of Prosecco or a robot to help you roll yourself out of bed in the ninth month. As far as the Babypod goes, I can tell them exactly where they should think about sticking it.<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-52557602185849535522016-01-01T11:13:00.000-08:002016-01-01T11:13:46.408-08:00My Parenting Resolutions 2016
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">According to a recent article in The Guardian, 43%
of resolutions are broken within a month and 80% within three months. Lifestyle
Gurus often warn against starting a new regime on Jan 1 because of its
likelihood of failure. However, I like to make promises to myself at New Year
and, even if I know deep down I won't stick to my plan to juice and drink my
5-a-day for breakfast after completing 100 star jumps, I enjoy the sense of
hopeful self-belief that I might. This year, as well as my own personal plans involving
less of the things I like and more of the things I don't, I am going to attempt
the following. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1. Only say 'hurry up' when we are actually in a
rush. <o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">During the two week Christmas holiday, I have
realised how often I say those two words to my children. I hurried them through
their breakfast even when we were not going out, hurried them along during a
walk through the forest even though we had nowhere to be; I even found myself
telling them to hurry up brushing their teeth. I am so used to having a million
things to do and places to be that I am rushing us when we could just slow down
and take our time. Achieving nothing but a rise in my blood pressure, I am
pledging to only hurry when completely necessary. At all other times, I will
rival the Dalai Lama with my calm acceptance of the time it takes them to perform
the most basic of functions or to fulfil my requests to get dressed, flush the
toilet or tell me what they want for dinner. Which leads me neatly onto my
second resolution.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2. Be realistic about how much time it takes to do
things. <o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Currently I ask the children to put on their costs
and shoes five minutes before we leave the house. This is because it only takes
five minutes to put on a coat and shoes. Except it doesn't. Five minutes
does not allow for the time it takes to argue about appropriate footwear (the
girl), find ANY footwear (the boy), agree how many toys can be taken on the
outing (both), realise someone needs the toilet, remember someone wanted a
drink, find the car keys, sob how you used to be able to leave the house in
five minutes (me) and fight about who got to the car first. Result: we are
late, I am stressed, kids have a screaming harpy for a mother. From now on I
will estimate how long it will take us to do something and multiply by
four. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3. Focusing on the moment <o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So often, I find myself reluctantly playing a game
with the children whilst mentally planning dinner, moving stuff into piles so
it looks tidier and thumbing through my FB page. If I'm really honest,
children's games bore me senseless and seem to take an infinity of time, which
is why I do something else simultaneously to alleviate my pain. Deep down, I
know that their desire to play kittens with me as the mummy cat has a limited
shelf life and one day I will be giving myself a Chinese burn because I didn't
make the most of it. Thus I pledge to give their game of Spies and Ninja
Princesses my full attention for at least 15 minutes before begging for a
reprieve. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4. Not attempting activities which I know will end
in disaster<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same
thing over and over and expecting different results. With this is mind, I plan
to decline well-meant invitations for activities which always become the polar
opposite of ‘fun’. I’m sure you know the kind of thing I mean. Lunch with families
containing the world’s best behaved children, playdates at show homes, large
noisy parties where the children have access to Coca-Cola or anything which
involves sitting quietly still for more than 15 minutes. For the last six
years, I have attempted to attend everything we have been invited to, even when
my husband shakes his head from side to side in piteous disbelief. But no more.
If I think it will end in tears (theirs, mine, our host’s) I will politely
decline and stay home practising my lines as the chief Ninja Princess Spy. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And that is it. There are many other areas I could
have added. I could commit to making homemade cakes for school fetes, to feed
the kids Fish Fingers a maximum of once a week or to always give a full
explanation of my reasons rather than screaming "because I'm your mother!"
But even my love of hopefulness has a realistic side. I am going to keep these
resolutions short and achievable in the hope that they will have a more lasting
impact than those in The Guardian’s poll.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And while I may not manage more than ten minutes
pretending to lick my kitten children before surreptitiously checking my email
and I may not leave enough time to walk to school and therefore be seen dragging
two half-dressed children to the gates, I will know at least that I tried and,
as my children will be able to recite to you, all you can do is try your best. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-53055437222766948582015-12-11T03:57:00.002-08:002015-12-11T04:12:48.342-08:00The Star<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">She didn't have a speaking part</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Because the words were tricky.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">(Though was glad she wasn't Mary</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Because Joseph's hands were sticky.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">She'd hoped to be an angel</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Because angels point their toes. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">But they'd offered her a shepherd</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And she didn't like the clothes. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Now all the parts were given out </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And she was just 'the crowd.'</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">As she faced the sea of mums and dads,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Her little head was bowed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Until she saw, right up the back,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Her mummy’s loving glance. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">That found her and stayed fixed on her</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Through every song and dance.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Whilst one king whacked the others,</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">With his golden box of myrrh.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Her mummy never peeped at them;</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Those eyes stayed fixed on her.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And even though poor Jesus fell,<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">When the manger somehow tipped.</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And Gabriel danced a solo</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">That wasn’t in the script.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Her mummy just looked straight at her</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Like no one else was there.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">It made her feel so wonderful </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And she no longer cared.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">That she didn’t have a ‘proper’ part</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Which everybody ‘ahhed.’</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Because, looking through her mummy’s eyes,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">She would always be the star. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Emma Robinson 2015<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-71438912175385269272015-10-23T09:34:00.003-07:002015-10-23T09:34:59.990-07:00In Defence of Slacker Mums
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The word ‘slacker’ is misleading. Slacker mums are
NOT lazy. On the contrary, Slacker mums are trying to be everything and do
everything. We had a life once; a life we liked. Trying to keep that life going
at the same time as being the best mum we can makes for a pretty busy schedule.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Often we are juggling home and work. And feeling
like we're not doing a particularly good job at either. Bolting out the door of
the office as the clock ticks to 5.00 so that we can get home in time to
deliver our child to Dance Club/Swimming/Beavers and then having to apologise
again because we have forgotten their shoes/swimming cap/woggle. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Rushed is our middle name. There are school
mornings when we have to make a split second decision on whose hair will be
brushed because there's not enough time for all of us. Trips to the supermarket
are against the clock as we throw food into a trolley into which we have
trapped our iPhone watching children. At parties we have to accept the 'late again' jibes
from the Smug Mothers even though we think they should be grateful that we
turned up at all. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We can't do craft. Oh, we do our best. We spend our
overdraft in Hobbycraft, Google "easy craft no glitter" and try to
pretend that we're enjoying ourselves. But it's hard to shrug off the utter
pointlessness of a task which involves spending an hour of our life creating a
random monstrosity which will be littering various places in our living room or
kitchen until the children have forgotten it and we can scoot it into the bin.
(All the while trying not to think that that piece of crap probably cost £7 in
tissue paper and stickers.) <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some of us are a little disorganised. We may be
found fishing yesterday's school uniform out of the washing basket (if it made
it that far) and wiping it clean with a wet wipe. We are sometimes haranguing
our children with felt tips and coloured paper at 7:30 in the morning because
we’ve just found a crumpled homework sheet at the bottom of a school bag. We
often meet each other frantically searching in Tesco for a superhero
costume/Christmas jumper/Pudsey bear T-shirt at 11pm the night before a school
dressing up day. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But when we do see another Slacker Mum, the relief is
immense. Meeting one another’s eyes in a café where at least one of our
children is under the table and raising our mug in solidarity. Confessing in
whispers that our child’s lunchbox includes a sandwich containing only ketchup
because we didn’t have the energy to fight that morning. When we recognise one
of our own, we nod and smile the smile that says, “Me too, sister.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Because Slacker mums don't judge. We don't even
treat the Perfect Mothers with disdain. No, we admire them with their immaculate
school run hair and tidy "drop by any time" houses. Sometimes, for
three consecutive days, we actually manage to BE them. But, hey, we're
Slackers: it never lasts. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If we’re honest, we can’t always blame motherhood
for these characteristics. We were probably not renowned for our tidiness,
punctuality and organisation before having children. It was just a lot easier
to hide when we only had ourselves to look after. Slacker mums are actually
trying very hard: it is because we have spent 20 minutes working out beautifully
coordinated outfits for our children that we ourselves leave the house looking
like we’ve just been electrocuted.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And it definitely doesn’t mean that we don’t enjoy
being a mum. Our lives are busy and stressful and disorganised but they are
also full of moments of joy when we look at our family laughing, playing and
enjoying each other and feel a contentment that makes everything else completely
worthwhile. We Slacker Mums love our children so much we could eat them. It's
just that, sometimes, we wish we had. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Begin a Slacker Mum means never quite
feeling like you have this motherhood thing nailed. </span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sometimes we try to do everything, but end
up feeling that we’ve achieved nothing. Sometimes we measure ourselves against
the Perfect Mothers and find ourselves wanting. </span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sometimes we berate ourselves because we’re
not the best cook, housekeeper or creator of creatures from egg boxes and loo
rolls.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">But always we love our children, we do our
best and we try to support the other Slacker Mums around us. And we know that,
ultimately, that is all that really matters.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-22760999238885041792015-10-20T05:06:00.000-07:002015-10-20T05:06:08.543-07:00To My Second Child
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You’re not my first; that much is
true.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I loved another before loving
you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m a different mother this time
around.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">More calm and confident I’ve
found.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">With your brother, everything was
new.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was focused on his every move.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Each tiny smile was photographed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I changed my ringtone to his
laugh.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since you came, there’s a new
dimension.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Two children now want my
attention.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And sometimes you’re left in your
chair,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whilst I play with your brother
over there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I cannot watch your every move.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or, when you cry out, jump to
soothe. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t panic every time you
sneeze,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And dash you off to A & E.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Your rattles and teds are hand-me-downs,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(And some toys may have lost
their sounds.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There’s less concern if your
blanket’s scratchy,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And your baby book is a little
patchy.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know what the next months have
in store.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And each phase you reach, I’ve
seen before.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This doesn’t mean I love you
less.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This time the feeling’s more
complex.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m pleased to see you learn and
grow,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But it also pulls my heartstrings
so. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was so excited first time
‘round.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This time I want to slow things
down.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Your ‘firsts’ will all be ‘lasts’
for me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last crawl and last to ride my
knee. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last nappy, breastfeed, spoon of
mush.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last rock-to-sleep, last cry to
hush. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You were not my firstborn this is
true,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But the last child I will have is
you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You’re the last lullaby I’ll ever
sing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And ‘lasts’ are a special kind of
thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-83746387242239633602015-10-16T06:10:00.004-07:002015-10-16T06:10:55.525-07:00FOMO: Fear of Missing Out
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Fear of missing out (or FOMO) is a form of social anxiety – a
compulsive concern that one might miss an opportunity for social interaction, a
novel experience, profitable investment or other satisfying event.” </i>(Wikipedia)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When a friend introduced me to the concept of FOMO, the
relief of being able to put a name to my condition was palpable. FOMO explains
the symptoms I have laboured with for years: a diary as full as Katie Price’s
bra and a purse as correspondingly empty; that sick, sinking feeling when I
realised I really couldn’t make a family party, a night out with my work
friends and a school trip to the theatre all on the same night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My husband has never suffered with this condition. For him,
one engagement in a month borders on a social whirlwind. When we had been
together for about two weeks (and I had already started to mentally write a
wedding guest list and name our future children) he mentioned casually that he
didn’t like to arrange more than one night out in a week. It was almost a deal
breaker. On reflection, one of the main reasons he was keen to have children at
all was the ‘get out clause’ they would give him. What better excuse to turn
down a night out than “we can’t get a babysitter” or “baby has been unwell”?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">For me, however, having children has only exacerbated the
problem. They have brought with them a whole host of separate events which I
can’t possibly turn down. Baby rhyme time, craft afternoons, children’s
parties. Anything advertised with ‘Children’s Activities’ in a ten mile radius,
I am writing down in my diary and dragging them along.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Added to this is the fact that I am more knackered than I
have ever been in my life. No longer can a full week of ‘busy-ness’ be
recovered from with a morning in bed; weekend lay-ins are for wimps according
to my offspring. After five days of prising them out of bed for school like
winkles from their shells, they leap out of bed on a Saturday and Sunday ready
to live life to the full. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But, despite their early rising on a weekend morning, they
are in no rush to get out of their pyjamas and leave the house. Often I am
pulling them away from a perfectly contented game or colouring-in session with
promises that they will ‘have a great time’ wherever we are going. It has taken
a while for me to realise that they were actually having a ‘great time’ at
home, just pottering about and playing with their toys (it’s their father’s
genes.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t want to paint a false picture here. I genuinely
enjoy (almost) all of the events that we attend but sometimes my ‘FOMO’
backfires on itself. Time seems to be shooting past since William and Scarlett arrived.
Days, weeks, even months are disappearing never to be recovered. Gradually I am
realising that, by filling my diary with a million things to do, I actually AM
missing out. Missing out on just being with my children. No plans, no rushing
around and no opening/closing times to panic about. At their age, our happiest
times are making a tent out of the duvet and laying under it eating bourbons
from the packet. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Therefore, I have made the decision that these more relaxed
moments are the ones that I will be making sure I am not missing out on. From
now on, my diary will be taking second place and I will embrace an empty
weekend as an opportunity to just hang out and see how the mood takes us. We
might go out, we might stay home, but we won’t be dashing from one place to the
next in the fear that we will miss out on something. Because the ‘something’ we
don’t want to miss out on is right here.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And if anyone tells my husband he was right, I will deny
everything. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-86350999902981021312015-10-10T02:25:00.004-07:002015-10-10T02:25:49.220-07:00If (Inspired by Rudyard Kipling)
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you can keep your head when all about you<br />
Is an ever growing pile of toys and games <br />
If you can referee a fight about a felt tip<br />
And still love both the fighters just the same<br />
If you can function on three hours of sleeping<br />
And still be running round the park next day<br />
If you can cook whilst helping out with homework<br />
And listening to all they have to say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you can clean a room with just some wet wipes<br />
And understand the cleaning up will never cease<br />
If you can bear to re-box mixed-up jigsaw puzzles<br />
And stay up ‘til you’ve found that final piece<br />
If you can thank them for the ‘dinner’ that they’ve made you<br />
Even though the mess confirms your deepest fears<br />
Or watch the lounge that you’ve just tidied cluttered<br />
And start again to tidy without tears<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you can make a fort with toilet rolls and Pritt stick<br />
And cope with glitter stuck to all your clothes<br />
If you can sit through Kid’s TV without a vodka<br />
(even if you sometimes have a little doze)<br />
If you can keep all entertained on long car journeys<br />
With puzzles, games and shrink wrapped healthy snacks<br />
And stay calm even though you feel like swearing<br />
When World War Three still kicks off in the in the back<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you can read the same book ten times over<br />
Keeping perfectly to every word and rhyme<br />
If you can hear the same lame joke repeated<br />
And laugh enthusiastically each time<br />
If you can listen to your children’s constant moaning<br />
Without going completely ‘round the bend<br />
Yours is the pure love unconditional <br />
And – which is more – you’ll be a mum, my friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-61082546464366263312015-10-09T03:47:00.000-07:002015-10-09T03:47:22.960-07:00When boys and girls come out to play
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">William: Will you play
Clash of Clans with me?</span></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Scarlett: Yes. Then
will you dance with me?</span></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">William: Yes,
afterwards. You can have this sword and I will have the bow and arrow.</span></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Scarlett: OK. Then
will you marry me? </span></i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">William: OK then.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Just before sitting down to write this
morning, I was having a light saber fight with my son whilst trying not to wake
my daughter’s ‘baby’.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This kind of gender specific play is
not something of which I approve. Before having children, I was convinced that
traditional male/female roles were something we learned, not something we were
born with. Seems, as far as my children are concerned, I didn’t have that quite
right.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is certainly not something they
have learned from us. Both husband and I work a three-day week so that we have
exactly the same amount of days at home with the children. And if I tell you
that they call our vacuum cleaner ‘Daddy’s hoover’ that tells you everything
you need to know about who does the most housework around here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Determined that my children wouldn’t
be raised to follow stereotypes, I always made sure they had toys from both
sections of the toyshop. When he was small, I bought William a baby doll and a
buggy. He ignored the doll and used the buggy to transport his building blocks
from room to room. Scarlett is no better. She has a sword which matches her
brother’s, but she has tied a ribbon around the hilt of hers so that it can be
used as a magic wand.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Which leaves me at a loss. What am I
supposed to do? Should I remove all toys with any kind of gender connotation
from the house? Rip the baby doll forcibly from Scarlett’s arms and make
William face up to his parental responsibilities? Threaten him with the CSA?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Admittedly, it’s not always so black
and white (or pink and blue.) Whilst putting on a puppet show of Rapunzel one
rainy day, I laid aside all my feminist principles to put on a squeaky
‘princess’ voice and ask the knight to save me. I was pretty pleased when William
put his head on one side and said, “Hmmm, maybe you could turn your hair into a
lasso and save yourself?” Scarlett has also been known to dress herself from
head to toe in pink and sparkles and then ‘tool up’ with an armoury of weapons
that would impress Rambo.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Which leads me the conclusion that
they are who they are. My determination that my daughter will be able to smash
through any glass ceilings which stand in her way as a woman will not be affected
by her penchant for Barbie and hair accessories. In the same way, the fact that
my son has decided that he is a Super Spy in training should not deter him from
becoming a sensitive man who takes an equal place with women in society.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Therefore, the next time I am
fending off an attack from the dark side whilst holding my imaginary grandchild
in my arms, I will relax in the knowledge that they both have their own ideas,
opinions and way of living their life. My only job is to support them in
whatever they choose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-35078662639939007582015-09-04T07:41:00.000-07:002015-09-04T07:41:06.510-07:00When the last child starts school . . .
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When William started school I was bereft. He was growing up too quickly, five
days a week was too much time to be apart and no-one would look after him the
way I could. When Scarlett and I left him on his first day, I was crying, she
was crying ("I want my brubber!") and we clung to each other like
extras in a Made for TV melodrama. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
And now she's going too. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
I thought it might be easier second time around. She'll be going to the same
school as William so I know the ropes. I know what uniform to buy, which
playground to wait on and exactly what we can and can't put in their lunch
boxes. I also know that, even if she finds it hard to settle, she will get
there eventually and will make friends, enjoy learning and take part in as host
of activities I couldn't hope to replicate at home. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But this time I’ll be walking away from
the school gates on my own.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t get me wrong, there’s a big part
of me looking forward to the two days a week I’ll have at home alone to get the
shopping done and clean the house. (Sorry – Dan was standing behind me then.
Obviously I meant read books and watch Escape to the Country.) But there is also
another largish part which mourns for the time that Scarlett and I have had on our
own these last two years. Drinking latte and babycino at Costa, trying on shoes
and dresses we didn’t intend to buy, visiting friends on maternity leave and
cuddling their babies. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is the temptation to fill the gap
with another baby. I've reached the age when my ovaries are chucking out my
last remaining eggs in the style of me emptying the cupboard under the stairs<!--EndFragment -->
and I think they must be triggering some ‘now or never’ hormone which makes me
weep at the sight of newborns. Nevertheless, as I am pretty sure my parenting
abilities wouldn’t extend to more children than I have hands, I have to accept
that there will be no more babies in the house.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">However many children you decide to
have, there will always be a ‘last one’ and when that one goes to school, it
signals the end of an era. High chairs and stair gates are a distant memory,
pushchairs have been sold or given away and every time they climb on your lap
for a cuddle, you hold them tightly knowing that, this too, will not last
forever.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Many things are easier with a second
child. Nappies, feeding, knowing how many spoonfuls of Calpol they can have in
a day. But, as I look at the brand new pair of black patent shoes by the door, I
find that the second time of the ‘First Day at School’ is no easier than the
first. In fact, it is a lot more difficult. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On Monday, when she puts on that blue
checked dress and goes into school, my heart will be bursting with pride, but
it will be breaking a little too. I will be dropping off my baby and collecting
my grown up girl.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-87855186833867365292015-08-18T07:14:00.000-07:002015-08-18T07:14:31.174-07:00Ode to a Wet Wipe<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I knew you helped to change a nappy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But now I know, I am so happy,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You’re there when OTHER things are
crappy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ready to weave your magic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You clean my house in just a flash<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When ‘round the furniture I dash<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No need for water which could splash<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(My other housework’s tragic.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You clean my kids when I must hurry<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No longer do I need to worry<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If they are covered in McFlurry<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There’s no mess that won’t suit you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I could have saved a lot of strife<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If sooner you’d been in my life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If I were male, you’d be my wife<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh Wet Wipe – I salute you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-36203077781783303182015-08-11T10:02:00.002-07:002015-08-11T10:02:50.390-07:00Call your mother; she worries.
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My mum
starts every phone call to my mobile with, "You're not driving are
you?" before she will tell me what she's calling for. Before mobiles,
when my sister and I walked to a friend's house, we would have to use their telephone
to give her three rings to let her know we were there safely. If she heard an
ambulance go by, you could see her do a quick physical and mental headcount to
reassure herself it wasn't for us (we're both in our forties now and she still
does this.) <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As
my sister and I rolled our eyes at another of her 'worries' she would
always say the same thing to us "You wait until you're a mother! You'll
understand!"<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
And she was right. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It began the
minute we left the hospital and drove home as if we were balancing three dozen
eggs on the car bonnet. Then I put our new baby in a crib beside my bed and
spent half the night getting out of bed to check that he was still
breathing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">At the
clinic when he was weighed, I held my breath to see if he had stayed 'on his
line' on the graph in the red book. I filled a notebook with details of feed
time/duration and nap time/duration in the vain hope it would give me some kind
of important knowledge about this tiny creature for whom we were totally
responsible. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I kidded myself
that it would be easier when he could do more but weaning brought a whole new
raft of worries. I nearly divorced my husband when he put a rusk in William's
hand at 5 months old. I then hovered over him for the next 30 minutes fully
prepared to perform the Heimlich Manoeuvre. (On William, not my unrepentant
husband.) <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Apparently,
this never ends. I've heard frequently the mantra, "Small children, small
worries; bigger children, bigger worries." and, whilst I don't think it's
wholly true, I do know that the worrying doesn't stop. As my mum says,
"You still worry about your baby when she's all grown up and having her
own babies." <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">At least I
understand now when my mum wants me to reassure her that we've reached our
holiday destination safely, that I've been to the doctors to check out some
minor ailment or that I am 'being careful' when I go out for a drink with my
(also in their forties) friends. When I feel my eyes begin to roll at her, I
remember the gut wrenching feeling I had when William rolled off the sofa at a
friend's house. She was absolutely right; now that I'm a mother, I do
understand. I also understand now that the worry springs from a deep,
deep well of maternal love for which I am very, very grateful. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, here I
am, resigned to existing on a sliding scale from mild concern to utter panic
for the rest of my life. Fortunately I have a very pragmatic husband who talks
me down from red alert when needed. Hopefully his calm and balanced nature will
help me during the teenage years when they are out in the world alone and I
have to worry from a distance. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Is that an
ambulance I can hear? </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-9067129645403100412015-08-09T07:45:00.001-07:002015-08-09T07:45:42.575-07:00Hide and Seek
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I'm sitting
in a cupboard which is underneath my stairs.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hidden
behind the camping gear so they don't know I’m there. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the past,
when they were small, I had to be quite nifty.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But I've
much more time to hide myself now they've learned to count to fifty.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of course
they were the first to hide, whilst I counted slow and steady.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Managing to
make a drink to their repeated shout “We’re ready!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With mug in
hand I answered them, “I’m coming, ready or not!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And closed my
ears to the giggles which give away their spot. <span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Wandering
around the house and acting so uncertain.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pretending
that I couldn't see their feet beneath the curtain.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 299.55pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lasting out the "seeking" stage as long
as I could fake it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The silence
was so pleasurable, I was loathe to ‘find’ and break it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Eventually
they called out "Mummy, would you like a clue?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">"We’re
hiding in the wardrobe at the bottom with your shoes."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So now it’s
me they’re looking for and I’ve hid myself so well,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s given
me some alone time whilst they’re out there raising hell.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">(I even left
some biscuits on the table in the hall.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hoping they’d
be distracted and forget to look at all.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But I
haven't got much longer, I can hear their patience dwindle.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I quickly
try to read just two more pages on my Kindle. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Their footsteps
thunder nearer and in moments I’m discovered.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Slowly I
uncurl myself and crawl out from the cupboard.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then, before
they run to hide again, I catch my little scions,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And suggest that
next we play a lengthy game of sleeping lions. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-44107692948610175972015-07-26T12:53:00.002-07:002015-07-26T12:53:18.973-07:00The Lies We Tell
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">"I've
been looking for that! It must have fallen in there by mistake!" I cried,
when William found his latest drawing in the recycling bin. That was the moment
I realized how good I've gotten at barefaced lying since having children.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s not
just the expected parental untruths either. I expected I’d end up saying that
carrots help you to see in the dark and crusts make your hair curly. What I
didn’t expect was how good I would get at lying on the hoof. "No! Of
course I'm not taking that bag of toys to the charity shop. I was just
gathering them together so that I could put them somewhere safe."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve heard
it said that the Queen thinks the world smells of wet paint as everywhere she
visits has just been redecorated in her honour. In the same way, my children
think the world is full of children’s rides which are out of order, sweet shops
which are closed and ice cream vans which have run out of ice cream. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then there
is the Father Christmas/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy lie. Now, before you strike me
from your Christmas Card List, I am not suggesting we tell the truth about our
imaginary friends a moment before we need to (although I wouldn't mind getting
a little credit for the hours I spend looking for good stocking presents.)
However, the lengths some of us go to in order to perpetuate these magical
myths (footprints in flour, scraps of torn red cloth in the door jamb,
‘dropped’ gifts on the lawn etc.) are on a level of subterfuge of which the CIA
would be proud. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Research tells
me that I should not be lying to them at all, but my parents told me the odd
tall story as a child and I still trust them now. When we were young, my sister
and I were given a dead (smelly) seahorse by an old couple who had found it
washed up on a beach in Cornwall. By the time we arrived home from our holiday,
the seahorse had magically disappeared from the boot of my parents’ car,
allegedly to seahorse heaven. Surely this was a far more palatable story than
the truth of him being rudely ejected by my dad somewhere along the M4? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sometimes
the truth is just too tricky. When we lost my dad last year, William (aged 4) was
very upset at the prospect that, one day, he would lose me too. I lied that I had
fixed it so that he and I would live forever. Although child psychologists
would gasp in horror and tell me that I should have met his questions head on
with gentle, considered explanations, I just didn’t have it in me. My
instinctive lie was what he, and I, needed to hear right then. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Therefore,
whilst I will endeavour to be truthful as often as possible, I am not going to
feel guilty about the odd fib. As they get older, the important subjects will
be discussed and the less important, such as what really happened to William’s
ridiculously large collection of pinecones, will be remembered as family myth.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Honestly. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-41861885738063569252015-06-14T11:21:00.002-07:002015-06-14T11:21:42.099-07:00Crying
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There's a
side effect to motherhood that no-one tells you about and that is all the
crying. Not the baby. You. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sure, you
expect to get weepy and emotional when you're pregnant. It's the damn hormones.
'They' even warn you to expect the 'baby blues' to cause unpredictable weeping
a few days after the baby is born as these same hormones settle back down. I
was still in hospital at this stage, hobbling around after a C-Section,
struggling with breast feeding and wracked with guilt that my newborn had to be
wheeled away for antibiotics twice a day. (I'm not sure why I felt that it was
my fault, but I did.) I cried so much that week I'm surprised I wasn't treated
for dehydration. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">However,
that's not the crying I'm talking about. It's the other sort, the crying that
creeps up on you when you're not expecting it. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I'm not
saying I was a tough cookie before having children. I cried watching ET like
most people. Hard hitting stories on Children in Need and Comic Relief would
leave me in a mess. But I didn't cry at 30 second TV adverts like I do
now. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Even happy
stories involving people I don't know can get me started. My husband
doesn't understand when I cry at the sight of someone winning a race or
performing a song. He looks at me in disbelief. "Are you crying at
THIS?" he asks. I nod and sob, "I'm just thinking how proud
their mum must be!"<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">At each
stage of my children's development there seem to be fresh opportunities for my
tear ducts to kick into overdrive. The first time I tried to strap the baby
seat into the car on my own I made a complete hash of it and spent the next 20
minutes wailing that I would never get the hang of it and would end up a
prisoner in my own home. (The drama has always been there; just the tears are
new.) <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I cried when
I realised that breast feeding was going to be difficult to get the hang
of (although, in my defence, part of that was actual physical pain) and then I
cried again when, a year later, the breastfeeding stopped. I wept when the
purées I had spent hours cooking and mashing were refused or spat out; despite
everyone telling me that a 'baby won't starve itself' I was terrified that mine
might be the first recorded case. And don't get me started on the first time
the boy said "Mummy." <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When William
started school, I tried to prepare myself. I was determined to keep a happy
smiling face as I waved at him from the school gates. I was doing really well
until we turned to go and a two year old Scarlett started to cry, "I want
my brubber!" Clutching her to me like an extra in made-for-TV film, I
cried, "I want him too!" <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It's
beginning to dawn on me that this is not a temporary state. Becoming a parent
has scratched the surface of my heart and it's beyond repair. Before me, I see
a life of waterproof mascara and handy packs of tissues. My children will see
every milestone greeted by a blubbering mother. I am prepared to be a complete
embarrassment as they learn to ride a bike, star in the school play, graduate
from university. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, it’s
not all bad news. According to popular science, the fact that we cry is one of
the reasons women live longer. Which means, with the frequency of my sobs, that
I'll probably be around, still crying, by the time I have great great grandchildren.
<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-60108781754308815692015-06-10T10:49:00.003-07:002015-06-10T10:49:38.010-07:00A Parent's Advice<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1972">
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_2346">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1978">
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1977">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Find something that you love to do and do it every day.</span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1979">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Be well informed and interesting, have worthwhile things to say. </span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1980">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1976">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Try to keep your focus, concentrate on every task.</span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1975">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">And if you've tried your very best, that's all anyone can ask.</span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1974">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1973">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Seek advice when you are lost, watch how others take their turn. </span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1971">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">But don't be scared to take a chance, mistakes are how you learn. </span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1970">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1963">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Chase those who run in front of you, whilst encouraging those behind.</span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1962">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">When deciding how to act or speak, think always "Is it kind?"</span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1961">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1955">
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1960">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1959">Speak out against injustice and protect those who are weak. </span></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1958">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1957">Hold your tongue when angry, in case cruel words you speak</span></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1956">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1954">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Don't let anyone tell you that there's something you can't do. </span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1953">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">For everything is in your grasp, the one who decides is you. </span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1952">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1964">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Be loyal to those who love you whilst you also make new friends. </span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1951">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1950">And if you hurt somebody, you must always make amends. </span></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1949">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1969">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Not everything comes easily, sometimes you just can't win. </span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1948">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1947">But the only time you really lose is when you throw it in. </span></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1946">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1945">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">No-one likes to hear you boast that you're the best on Earth. </span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1944">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">But be proud of your accomplishments and always know your worth. </span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1943">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1940">
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1942">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1941">Be bold and brave and try things new; don't ever live in fear. </span></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1939">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1938">For if you fail and things go wrong, I'll always be right here. </span></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1937">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1433956535773_1932">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Fly far and high and wide and deep, the world is yours to roam.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Remember forever you are loved and here you'll have a home.</span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-25727387066906993802015-06-07T12:14:00.001-07:002015-06-07T12:26:02.769-07:00Laser Tag: Mummy goes to war<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was with
some reluctance that I took William to Laser Quest last Saturday. For the uninitiated,
this involves running around in a dark room, attempting to ‘shoot’ other people
with a laser gun whilst avoiding them hitting the target on your vest. Usually
the husband plays wingman to our boy's cannon fodder approach to battle
("Hello! I'm William. Oh, I'm shot again.") But this time he decided
he wanted mummy to go.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We paid for
two games and the first was surprisingly civilised. Apart from William and I,
there was one other family, therefore we had lots of space and time to trot
around. I even managed to get a few shots on target. (Admittedly, this was made
easier because the other family included a teenage girl who had obviously been
coerced into joining her mum and two small brothers. She was an easy target as
she didn't even bother to raise her gun the whole time she was in there.) <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For our
second game, we were joined by three other families. With dads. Suddenly
everything changed; there were tactics, positions and battle formations. Us
amateurs had no chance, no sooner had I recovered from one hit (you had to wait
four seconds after being hit before your gun was active again) before I was hit
and immobilised again. Sometimes I couldn't even see where it came from. Put it
this way, should there be an alien/zombie attack, I'll be one of the first to
bite the dust. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">However,
this new seriousness was infectious. I found myself hiding behind walls and
firing through windows like a wannabe Charlie's angel. I even took advantage of
William's propensity to run headlong into enemy fire by hanging back and
picking off the small soldiers firing at him one by one. At one point I heard
someone shout "Down! Down!" at my teammates - then realised it was
me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">All in all,
the boy and I had a great time together. Normally I'm a poor substitute for
daddy in games of war, but something about the heavy vest, large gun and
surrounding darkness brought out a whole new side to me. Quite a turnaround for
a mother who declared her newborn son would never be allowed to play with
guns. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I'm not
getting too smug about my performance, though. After the game, I asked William
who had been better to play laser tag with, me or daddy? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">"You."
He said. "Because I can beat you on points more easily."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-18543364521410850602015-04-10T04:31:00.003-07:002015-04-10T04:31:34.415-07:00The Kindness of Strangers
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">"I've
always depended on the kindness of strangers"</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"> <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Blanche DuBois – A Streetcar Named Desire
(Tennessee Williams)</span></span></i><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
<br />
When we're eating out, I often think it would actually be easier if Dan and I
physically sat on the children. On one particular occasion we were trying to
keep them relatively immobile at the table with a game of 'Star Wars Twenty
Questions' - the trickiest part of which was trying to string out enough
questions for Scarlett to answer before we 'guessed' that she was Princess
Leia. Again.<br />
<br />
Anyway, it seems our efforts weren't in vain. As he was leaving, a man of about
fifty came over and said "it's so nice to see a family so obviously
enjoying each other's company.' Fighting the urge to burst into tears and then
kiss him, I settled for thanking him profusely and telling him that we were
worried they were making too much noise. "Not at all," he said,
"I remember those days, mine are teenagers now. Make the most of this
age." And then he smiled and left. <br />
<br />
I was on a high for the rest of the evening. Every time I felt myself about to
snap at the children, I took a deep breath and tried to be the parent that man
thought I was. Suddenly, we weren't the shrieking family from hell but rather a
happy band of rascals; loud but loving. <br />
<br />
It's happened before. Once an old lady told William he was a "very kind
brother" because he helped Scarlett to reach something. Another time, a
shop assistant commented on Scarlett's lovely manners. When you feel like the
parenting equivalent of Sisyphus rolling a very large rock up a mountain each
day, these words are like honey for the soul. <br />
<br />
It works in less pleasurable circumstances too. When the end of your tether is
so far out of sight, you need a telescope to find it, a smile from another mum
makes you realise you're not alone. Just a few days ago, on holiday, I had to
clamp a screaming Scarlett to my body as she screamed, "I don't want to go
to bed!" A grandmother patted me on the shoulder kindly, "They never
want to give in, do they?"<br />
<br />
I wonder if these people know what a difference they made to me in that moment?
Parenting in public can be a lonely voyage, you sometimes feel surrounded by a
sea of judgment and the roar of tuts of annoyance and disapproving glances. A
fellow voyager reaching out in solidarity feels like a life raft. <br />
<br />
Therefore, I'm resolved to start paying it forward. Ready to tell that
exhausted mum, rocking a screaming newborn, "mine were like that
too." To smile at the dad unpeeling his son's stubborn hands from the
railings so they can leave the park. To knowingly nod at the mother bargaining
with her toddler to please just eat her sandwich. <br />
<br />
And one day it will be my turn to tell a noisy family in a restaurant how happy
they look. Because, thanks to the kind gentleman who spoke to us, I know just
how it will make those parents feel. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-346607265089860692015-01-18T11:58:00.002-08:002015-01-18T11:58:43.914-08:00My 'imperfect' birth
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If I had my time again, I certainly wouldn’t bother to read
any of the books about giving birth naturally; they just set me up for a huge disappointment
in much the same way as years of reading articles about ‘How to get a beach-ready
body in just seven days.’ <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Admittedly, not everyone has had the same birth experience
as me. I even have friends who claim to have ‘enjoyed’ childbirth (God love
them) and obviously there are the much lauded women in the developing world who
give birth standing up, strap the baby to their back and then go straight back
to work. If you’re reading this blog and you did have a positive experience,
then a lot of this may make no sense at all. But this is how it was for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reading my birth plan now makes me laugh. For all the good
it did me, I might as well have written my plans to ‘give birth in water
listening to Michael Jackson’ onto a Chinese lantern and set fire to the thing.
At least then someone might have enjoyed them. It took me about a week to
write, almost caused an argument with my husband (although his, “Is there
really any point to this?” proved to be right on the money) and then never made
it out of my hospital bag.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Packing a bag for the hospital is also something I spent far
too much time over. Paper knickers? They might be fine for paper dolls but a
pregnant woman whose backside needs its own postcode has got no chance. After
failing to get even one leg into them, I sent the husband to buy cheap knickers
from Primark. I even packed snacks in case I got peckish during labour. Snacks!
I’d have been better off packing a bottle of gin and a claxon to get the
attention of the elusive consultant on duty at the labour ward. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t even get me started on breathing exercises. I can only
assume that you are encouraged to breathe differently to take your mind off of
the pain. They didn’t. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; tab-stops: 104.25pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is a conspiracy amongst
mothers to not talk about the realities of childbirth. I understand that those
of us who didn’t have a good experience shouldn’t be regaling pregnant women with
our horror stories, but I also wish someone could have warned me how naïve I
was about the whole thing. I was ridiculously smug about how I planned to be
walking around the room, stopping only to allow my husband to rub my back with
a wooden massage roller and tell me how amazing I was. In actuality, if he had
come anywhere near me with that thing I’d have smacked him, or myself, around
the head with it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; tab-stops: 104.25pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Because, the thing is, I tried to
do everything I’d been told but it just didn’t turn out right. There was no
water birth, no music and after a long and traumatic time, it ended in an
emergency caesarean under general anaesthetic. And, because I had been led to
believe that I could have a wonderful birth experience if I just stayed strong
and focused, I felt that I’d failed. That maybe I hadn’t tried as hard as those
women who gave birth in 12 hours on the merest whiff of gas and air. Unfortunately,
that sense of failure is something that can stay with you for a long time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If I could go back and speak to my pregnant self I would
tell her this: giving birth is a lottery. It doesn’t matter how many books you
read, classes you attend or balls you bounce on – you get lucky or you don’t. I
had been deluding myself all those years that my ample hips would at least make
childbirth easier; in actual fact my pelvis was just the wrong shape. It was
horrible, but it wasn’t my fault. And if you’re reading this and had a similar
experience, it wasn’t your fault either – you just got unlucky. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But when I woke up from the anaesthetic I woke up to find I
was a mum. In front of me was my smiling husband, holding my tiny son. The
physical scars healed in a few weeks, the mental ones started to fade some
months later, but this beautiful, incredible creature was mine to keep forever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And that makes me very lucky indeed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-20852263473224474172014-12-22T13:13:00.001-08:002014-12-23T13:26:45.206-08:00Christmas Then and Now<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I used to decorate my tree with coordinated frou-frou <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now it’s full of school-made decs and topped with R2D2<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I used to spend days shopping, with lunch and time to wander</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, if it’s not sold online, it’s on my list no longer<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I used to slowly wrap my gifts, whilst sipping on some wine </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now I have two ‘helpers’ and it takes me twice the time</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I used to try new recipes like Nigella on the telly</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now I serve spaghetti hoops beside the cranberry jelly<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I used to spend my Christmas Eve with good friends down the
pub<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now I’m stuffing turkey, stockings and my gob with grub<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I used to love the music: Nat King Cole and ‘Let it snow</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, for the ten thousandth time, it’s Elsa’s ‘Let it Go!’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I used to have a lay-in, then eat breakfast in my bed</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now I’m up at 5am with two kids off their head<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I used to love my Christmases, so civilized and merry</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And sometimes I think wistfully of a quiet glass of sherry<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But their first squeak of excitement is enough to make me sure;</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’d never swap my Christmas now for my Christmases before. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-10311625487264733012014-12-15T14:17:00.000-08:002014-12-15T14:18:33.924-08:00What shall we buy the children this year?<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>“We buy them expensive toys and they end up playing with the cardboard
box. Next year we’ll just give them the boxes.” Says every parent every year.<o:p></o:p></strong></span></span><br />
<strong>
</strong><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong></strong></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Number of parents who actually give their child a cardboard
box in lieu of presents: 0<o:p></o:p></strong></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A month
before Christmas, we attempt to have a clear out of toys to make way for the
new arrivals. Both children approach this process as if we were taking food
from their mouths. Toys which have been lost down the back of the wardrobe for
six months are clutched to their breast like a long lost friend; jigsaw puzzles
with missing pieces are professed to be their ‘favourite’; dolls with missing
limbs who have been skulking at the bottom of the toy box have allegedly been searched
for ‘for ages’. Next year we are planning a midnight smash and grab under cover
of darkness.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They refuse
to understand that, as we have a regular sized house without elastic sides, we
need to make room for the plethora of toys which they seem to want this year. As
the boy has started to outgrow Cbeebies and they have begun watching channels
with adverts, so their awareness of the multitude of purchasable plastic rubbish
has increased. Every ad break is met with a chorus of ‘Can we have that?’ ‘Can
we get that?’ and, quite often, ‘Can I have that? What is it?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My five year
old son is actually very difficult to buy for as he becomes completely obsessed
with one character to the exclusion of all others, but this lasts for about two
weeks before he is onto the next thing (I could make a cheap joke at the
expense of past boyfriends here but I will resist.) In the last two months we
have been through Spiderman, Star Wars, Ninja Turtles and now the Matt Hatter
Chronicles. Buy his Christmas gift too early and we could be heading for a gift
disaster of a size not seen in our family since the Totes Toasties Tsunami of
1997.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The girl, on the other hand, is easily
pleased by anything and everything that Disney has ever mass produced. I honestly
think I could scrape something out of the street and stick it in a Princess
costume and she’d want it. This leaves me in a dilemma: I have an ethical and active
dislike of Disney Princesses and their need to be 'saved' by a man whilst my
daughter seems to gravitate towards them with awe. I try to steer her towards
more suitable female heroines: Marie Curie, Amelia Airhart, Emmeline Pankhurst.
Although even I have to admit, as she correctly tells me, that their
dresses aren't anywhere near as pretty.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Add to this
my husband, the armchair eco-warrior, muttering about landfill and the
environment and you can see why I want to go to bed with a giant size selection
box and a tube of Pringles (I knew it was dangerously early to start buying the
Christmas food.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nonetheless,
this month will see me trawling the aisles of ToyRUs, selling my soul in the
Disney Store and cross-checking prices on Amazon with the best of them. Unless
I can find myself a nice cardboard box to hide in . . . <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-74731094250652512312014-11-30T04:20:00.002-08:002014-11-30T04:20:31.375-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzf33Ja7cG0LHN-eguxE_OeGfr6AvQJYw3ZnHhtB03yBQeSjIh3AtclwPWnk7RIbukhWx96vBCWDRt4lGXhGQB3UUrHszIoSoipX5zRcWX1YDDTxKNHPfvxKG-1AJPQ7Lxb1IIaEv1anE/s1600/photo+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzf33Ja7cG0LHN-eguxE_OeGfr6AvQJYw3ZnHhtB03yBQeSjIh3AtclwPWnk7RIbukhWx96vBCWDRt4lGXhGQB3UUrHszIoSoipX5zRcWX1YDDTxKNHPfvxKG-1AJPQ7Lxb1IIaEv1anE/s1600/photo+2.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Book now available from Amazon for £2.99!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">Includes all the poems from the blog plus four new ones.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">Click here to buy:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Motherhood-Slackers-Poetry-Emma-Robinson/dp/1503078019/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417349284&sr=1-1&keywords=motherhood+for+slackers"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">http://www.amazon.co.uk/Motherhood-Slackers-Poetry-Emma-Robinson/dp/1503078019/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417349284&sr=1-1&keywords=motherhood+for+slackers</span></a><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-488970838069014569.post-39024976478020335462014-11-02T08:17:00.001-08:002014-11-02T08:17:30.156-08:00First Night
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
The ward is all quiet now<br />
The lights are down low<br />
The visitors and daddies have all had to go<br />
<br />
The mothers are resting<br />
Their babies asleep<br />
One nurse at the station, a watch she will keep<br />
<br />
We've had quite a journey<br />
Intense and unreal<br />
I've felt things I never expected to feel<br />
<br />
Moments of excitement <br />
Moments of panic<br />
An ending not planned and incredibly frantic <br />
<br />
But now it's all over <br />
It's just you and I<br />
I knew you the moment you gave that first cry <br />
<br />
I look at you sleeping<br />
So still and so small<br />
I am your mummy and you are my all. <br />
<br />
Emma Robinson 2014<br />
<br />
</span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/motherhoodforslackers"><span style="color: #0563c1; font-family: Calibri;">www.facebook.com/motherhoodforslackers</span></a><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12615624473642660519noreply@blogger.com0